It was 2020, and COVID had cut Chris Koenig off from everyone back home. He and his family moved to the United Kingdom from Bahrain and four months later, everything locked down. With no time to build any true community, they realized they were tired of starting over. For the first time in his career, there was no option to get back. They went over two years without seeing the people they loved. The conversation happened in the kitchen. Chris and his wife got honest about what mattered most. He wanted to stay in. Another five, maybe ten years. But that was not what was best for his family. They were tired of the stress caused to their daughter moving every two to three years and wanted her to experience putting down roots. So the decision was made. Not what was best for his career. What was best for them.

Every veteran who has served long enough knows that tension. Chris had 17 years in the Navy when he and his wife made that call. He had two years to prepare. And even with all that runway, nothing fully prepares you for what comes next.

Walking Away from a Name

Chris retired February 2025, as a Navy Senior Chief after 20 years. He had served as a senior enlisted leader, and handing that role over while still being present was one of the hardest parts. He spent months preparing the next person, then faded into the background so he would not get in the way. He had been the one setting up transition classes for others at his command. He had all the contacts. He just never got around to doing it for himself.

The early months on the outside hit harder than he expected. Imposter syndrome. Sleepless nights. A level of anxiety he had never felt in operational environments where it would have made sense. He moved his family back to North Carolina and stepped into an HR leadership role at a furniture manufacturing company in Hickory. By month four, he and his wife were looking at each other across the kitchen table again.

“Three, four, five months in, we were really looking at what it would take. Is it too late to go back? I think it’s okay to have those doubts early on.”

The shift came when he reframed the timeline. The adjustment was not unlike showing up at a new unit. Those first months, you are clueless. By the six to nine month mark, you hit your stride. He connected with a counselor through the VA in Hickory, an airborne veteran who had served in Iraq, and that relationship helped him put language around what he was feeling. He is grateful he reached out early.

Eleven months out, Chris will tell you he is not done. A coworker recently found out he had been in the Navy and called him “Senior.” Chris described it as a punch in the chest. He told the man not to do it again. Not out of anger. Because hearing that name pulled him back to a place he cannot return to. He still wakes between 4 and 5:30 every morning and goes straight to work instead of using that time for himself. He knows he needs to reclaim that space.

You’re not done transitioning. You’re recalibrating yourself. This is that new life in your 40s. Nobody’s telling you how to do it anymore.”

What the Service Mindset Looks Like Now

Here is the part of Chris’s story that matters most for anyone wondering whether 20 years in uniform actually prepares you to lead on the outside. It does. Not because the job is the same. Because the principles are.

The first thing people notice about Chris at work is that nothing rattles him. Twenty years in the Navy means his spectrum of experience is broad. When something comes up that would stop most people, it barely moves the needle. He absorbs it, processes it, and moves forward. That steadiness is forged across deployments, leadership turnover, and every situation the military throws at you that has no clean answer. In a civilian workplace, that calm becomes a competitive advantage. Problems get solved faster when the person in the room is not shaken by the problem itself.

The second thing is how he leads without rank. In the military, authority is built into the structure. On the civilian side, nobody has to follow you. Chris earned influence the same way he earned it in the fleet: by showing up, doing the work, and following through. If someone needs support, he makes sure it gets provided. If he says he will circle back, he circles back. People follow that. Not because of a title. Because they trust the pattern.

That pattern extends to how he handles what he does not know. In a new industry with new systems and new language, there are gaps. Chris does not hide them.

“If you don’t know something, don’t pretend you do. Find the person, get the resource, do the research. That’s what we’re taught to do, because pretending gets people hurt.”

In the military, that principle is literal. Pretending you know how to operate a system you have not been trained on can cost lives. The stakes look different in the civilian world, but the principle holds. Chris is candid with every leader he reports to about where his experience is and where it is not. That honesty has become the thing people trust most. He finds the answer, brings it to the table, and delivers. Transparency, resourcefulness, follow-through. That is military leadership. It just does not wear a uniform anymore.

And then there is the people piece. As a senior enlisted leader, Chris spent years taking care of sailors and their families. Housing, pay, morale, career development, personal crises. In HR leadership, the context changed but the instinct did not. He still leads with the belief that organizations run on people, and people perform when they are genuinely supported. The challenge has been learning where to draw new lines. But the instinct to care, to ask the harder question, to treat people as whole human beings, that is the service mindset at work. And it is a mindset most civilian organizations need more of.

What He Would Tell You

“Start those habits early, because if you don’t, they will not be there when you walk out the door.”

That is the first thing Chris would tell anyone approaching the transition. Build the habits now. Journaling, running, whatever grounds you. Do not wait until you are out to figure out what your morning looks like. If those habits are not in place, the bad ones compound fast.

The second thing is simpler and harder: building community on the outside takes real effort. Your family can be wonderful. But it is not the same as having your tribe nearby. Do not be caught off guard by how much that matters.

If you are in the middle of it, here is what Chris would want you to hear: you are not behind. You are recalibrating. The doubt is normal. The skills you built in uniform transfer. You just have to give yourself the space to prove it again. Chris found support through the VA. But connection happens in a lot of ways. If you are transitioning or recently out, reach out to HKY4VETS. Your tribe is still here.

Chris Koenig retired from the United States Navy on February 28, 2024, after 20 years of service. He currently serves in HR leadership at a furniture manufacturing company in Hickory, North Carolina.